surrealist exercise series: if/when+then

ADVISORY POEMS

1. when you play a harmonica through an amplifier on a new orleans street corner, quote william blake to your lover, or to no one in particular.

2. when you are too harsh, get someone to help you.

3. when you are engulfed in flame, call the psychic hotline to request a year-long forecast.

4. if you are lydia davis, work out the logistics of staying out late and waking up early.

5. when your job makes a glorified babysitter out of you, grapple with your transgressions over a pot of tea.

6. if you suffer from hysteria, throw a dinner party to forget “it all”.

7. when you “go to town”, surf the ‘net for related clues.

8. when you eat a handful of dates, cross the street at odd intervals.

9. when you are taken hostage, write a letter and press it into a thimble-sized shape.

10. if you like break-core music, trace the shape of the moon on a window with a bar of soap.